Micro-Reviews - TALES OF THE BATMAN (Part Two)

“Museum Piece” by Mike Resnick

Another entry that plays with the narrative; this isn’t a story, but a documentation of various exhibits in the Gotham Museum.

It reads as a clinical recounting of various battles between Batman and the Joker, but no real narrative emerges.

Meaning, there’s no coherent line from one exhibit to another.  It’s not a meta-commentary on the evolution of the characters, and there’s no connection from one exhibit to the next.

The final entry does indicate that the Joker attempted suicide in the last documented case, which could be interpreted a variety of ways, but the revelation comes out of nowhere.

Not a bad hook for a piece, but it would’ve been nice if the entries didn’t come across as arbitrarily selected bits of stories.

“Wise Men of Gotham” by Edward Wellen

Oh, lordy.  Where to begin on this one?

At times, it’s a fairly standard Batman vs. Riddler story.  It’s fine, as far as that goes.

The riddles hinge on an English fairy tale I’d never heard of, the Wise Men of Gotham: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wise_Men_of_Gotham

Published in 1995, I’d wager this was written sometime in the late ‘80s.  Batman is still free to crack jokes, homelessness is the pressing issue of the day, and there’s a reference to the Japanese buying up American properties.

“Another Day in Paradise” was surely playing in the background as Edward Wellen clacked away on his IBM Lotus Pro.

Continuity’s clearly no priority here.  Previous stories featured the Bat-phone, but in this installment, Gordon only has the Bat-signal as a means to summon Batman.  Gordon acts as if he doesn’t think the signal will work, but why does he have the thing in the first place?

Another bit of absurdity -- Bruce Wayne appears at a costume party dressed as Batman, in one of his actual Batman suits.  He even has a conversation with Commissioner Gordon, who doesn’t recognize him at all.

And Bruce Wayne jeopardizes his secret ID once again when he consults with a female professor/potential love interest on the nature of the Riddler’s clues.  Is everyone in this story just flat-out oblivious?

But the dumbest moment occurs at the end, when a homeless man runs into Batman and notices something in his eyes.  The vagrant follows Batman around, and inadvertently falls victim to a bullet meant for Batman.

His final words?  I’m not making this up:

“The eyes…the eyes of the kid…who watched me…knock off his folks…in the stickup…”

Yes, Joe Chill is the random homeless man Batman happens to bump into!  And he somehow remembers Bruce’s eyes!

(Never mind that they’re white slits when Batman’s in costume…)

That’s as dumb as anything Gotham has tried to pull off.  And, yup, that’s saying something.

And is there any payoff to this?  Does it add to the story in anyway?  Nope!  It’s just tossed in during the final two pages.  Unbelievable.

You might defend the editor for not enforcing strict continuity, but how did THAT bit slip through?

Would it be so hard to say, “Let’s not introduce the killer of Batman’s parents as a random bum during the story’s wrap-up, kill him off, and not explore the idea in any way”?

“Robber’s Roost” by Max Allan Collins

Collins might be the only participant who’s actually written Batman comics before.

Collins presents us with a secret society of Gotham elites who are obsessed with owls.  Absurd!

Okay, they eat rare owls and other endangered animals, so it’s not quite the same as the Snyder comics.

Although I dislike the lazy class warfare element (Bruce is the only decent rich man in town, of course), I enjoyed the story.  Batman chases the Penguin for several hours, but later teams up with him to stop the grotesque practice.

We also have Batman’s awkward speech in front of a parole board, arranged by Gordon, which doesn’t end well.

“Brothers in Crime” by William F. Nolan

Why would you publish two Penguin stories right next to each other?  Especially when the first one ends with Batman deciding to let the Penguin go, and the second one opens with him in prison?

Every editorial choice made on this anthology is mystifying.

Anyway, this is the story of Penguin’s half-brother, who’s assigned as Penguin’s cellmate.

Told from the brother’s POV, he details Penguin’s various manipulations, and their falling out that ends with him saving Batman’s life.

There is a nice twist at the end, but we have another chatty, joyful portrayal of Batman, and a plot convenience that has Penguin easily taking down Batman.

I recognize that Batman as a character is open to interpretation, but alternating between pre and post-Miller Batman is irritating.

“Death of the Dreammaster” by Robert Sheckley

This one is…maybe?...set in the future.

It opens with Batman inadvertently killing the Joker, although he later returns to haunt Batman as a hallucination.

The tone here is bizarre -- chatty, friendly Batman again, but the story opens with Joker standing over mutilated, dismembered corpses, ready to kill a little girl.

The story’s filled with odd choices, like Batman having a publicly known girlfriend named Vera.  And I don’t mean Bruce Wayne’s girl -- Vera is specifically known as the girl Batman is seeing socially.  How does that even work?

We also have Batman adopting a fully formed alternate identity, millionaire playboy Charlie Morrison.  There’s a payoff at the end, but this just doesn’t read as a Batman story.

It’s also around 20 pages too long, and the tone shifts from horror to espionage to near-camp.  Not a great entry.

“On a Beautiful Summer’s Day, He Was” by Robert McCammon

The Joker’s origin, by way of “Stand by Me.”  Actually, it’s closer to King’s darker work.  (Yes, I know McCammon predates King.)

The Joker as a kid -- John Napier, Jr. -- abused by his mentally unstable father, kills his childhood neighbor.

All of the standard, over-explain-everything origin story moments are here.  Joker’s father is a mentally unstable chemist stuck working a job as a traveling salesman.  He’s obsessed with laughter and smiles, doesn’t understand why he can’t find happiness, and abuses his wife in horrifying ways.

Junior is ostracized by most of the kids, carries bones in his pocket, and we discover, is experimenting with animal corpses.

It’s as unpleasant as it sounds, and there’s nothing here to balance out the bleakness.  Also, playing coy with the identity of “Junior” is just ridiculous.  Clearly this is meant as a Joker origin story.

“The Joker’s War” by Robert Sheckley

Another “short” story that’s around 20 pages too long.

The premise has Joker in Europe in 1940, plotting to steal Italian art before the war spreads.

Through the course of the story, he falls in love with a German socialite, becomes a close adviser to Hitler, irritates the mafia, and uses Hitler’s astrologer Obermeier as a pawn in his schemes.

The premise is, uh, unique, but the Joker rarely feels in-character during the story.  He’s neither funny or sadistic, is capable of genuine romantic love, and doesn’t view crime as vehicles for practical jokes.

Instead, he’s a master criminal and manipulator, the greatest alive.  But he rarely feels like the Joker.

And Batman’s not even mentioned in the story, outside of Hitler stating his admiration for the way Joker handles the “beefy Batman and his catamite boyfriend Robin.”

“Endangered Species” by Greg Cox

Was there a law saying only Joker & Penguin could appear in this book?  A reminder of the days before TAS firmly took hold of the public’s perception of Batman, perhaps.  The three standout villains from the Adam West series were Joker, Penguin, and Catwoman (with Riddler as a close fourth), and that seemed to influence most interpretations of the mythos until TAS had been on the air for a few years.

And this interpretation of the Penguin is, unfortunately, dreadful.  It opens with him bathing people in literal acid rain.

I’m not saying the Penguin would never kill, but most of his murders seem to be of the “incompetent henchmen” variety.

I’ve certainly never viewed him as outright sadistic, which would be Cox’s interpretation.  Penguin’s scheme is to kidnap a pair of rare Japanese owls from the Gotham Zoo, not to preserve them for his own collection, but to threaten their death and hold them ransom.  He kidnaps the story’s narrator, a Japanese vet named Sumi, and bullies her into keeping the owls alive until he can collect his ransom.

So, the traditional view of the Penguin as a sincere bird lover who’s deluded himself into thinking he’s a part of the upper-class -- that’s gone.  He’s just a sadist kidnapping rare owls for ransom, unconcerned if they die.

Making this more irritating, a previous story showed Penguin as an earnest conservationist who teamed with Batman to save other rare birds.

That was only a few stories ago!  C’mon, this is well past sloppy.

“Copycat” by John Gregory Betancourt

After 382 pages of Joker/Penguin/Nobody villains, Catwoman finally appears.

And the premise is insane.  Catwoman has been framed for the murder of Bruce Wayne.  Upon investigating, she learns that the copycat killer is none other than Bruce’s ex, Vicki Vale.

Okay, John Gregory Betancourt.  You’ve got me interested.

The story turns out to be Bob Haney-level nuts from beginning to end.  You can poke a million holes in the plot, but it’s absurdly entertaining, and the story manages to use the two standard Batman love interests in a creative way.

Ignoring the ending, which has Catwoman swallowing cyanide, this would’ve been a nice TAS episode.

“A Harlot’s Tears” by Ed Gorman

So they wanted to shove all of the Catwoman stories at the end of the book?

I swear this book was assembled by a Random Batman Story Generator and not an actual editor.

After a zany piece inspired by the Silver Age, we’re abruptly thrown into a vulgar tale of Catwoman aiding prostitutes targeted by a serial killer.

Casual drug use, repeated f-bombs, it’s all very Vertigo.  (And I guess this beats Batman V Superman’s R-cut as the first time “f**k” appeared in material featuring Batman.)

I’m not a big fan of Catwoman’s retconned past as a hooker, or inserting patently adult material into these concepts, but the story of Selina looking out for girls on the stroll starts off strong.

The ending, however, which has her taking the killer home with her overnight so that he can TALK ABOUT HIS FEELINGS with his intended victims, is laughable.

Nice writing, in general, evoking a gritty late ‘80s feel, but the ending is irritatingly absurd.

“Reformed” by John Gregory Betancourt

Oh, great.  Another Penguin story.

The anthology includes several stories previously published, which likely explains why John Gregory Betancourt has two contributions.  Why they were placed so close together, however, is beyond me.

I have an immediate gripe about this one -- Penguin shouldn’t be in Arkham Asylum.  Traditionally, he isn’t played as insane.  I think the Animated Series slipped up once and placed him in Arkham, but usually he was shown in Blackgate Penitentiary.  

And he never comes across as insane in this story, outside of his obsession with Batman.  It’s a generic Penguin story, without even a bird-themed crime, and there’s not much to it.

“Vulture - A Tale of the Penguin” by Steve Rasnic Tem

The closing entry…and heaven help us all, it’s another Penguin story.

It’s also another “short” story with a funny definition of the term.  Sixty-two pages long.

This time, Penguin is in normal prison, not Arkham.  (Even though this story presents a more credible argument for his instability.)  He’s spent months in a high-profile hunger strike.  It’s all a part of an escape plan, and I’ll admit, Tem’s scheme is clever.

Free from prison, and now unrecognizably skinny, Penguin explores the outside world and realizes just how much the culture has changed.  Death is no longer taboo, “freaks” walk around in daylight, and kids idolize horror movie monsters.

Declaring himself a performance artist, Penguin rechristens himself The Vulture, adopting a new criminal persona.  He commits small crimes throughout skid row, until he learns of Gotham’s new serial killer -- The Bird of Prey.

Penguin dedicates himself to stopping the killer, and the story evolves into straight-up Dexter.  Penguin turns out to be a mediocre vigilante, however, and remains clueless in romance.  Batman appears at the end, and Penguin welcomes incarceration.

“Vulture” is one of the strongest stores in the anthology; if only it were the ONE Penguin story in this thing.  Who thought we needed around six hundred of them?

And if you've noticed the 2 villains prominently featured on that cover image, remember this was released in 1995.

 It's also a cheap stunt to pull -- only ONE Riddler story and ZERO Two-Face stories.

Now I'm wondering if the endless Penguin stories were initially commissioned as BATMAN RETURNS tie-ins?

Adventure(s) Time - Batman vs. That Pesky Man-Bat Formula

Another installment of Adventure(s) Time is now at CBR.  This time, I examine a few of the Man-Bat stories in the Batman: The Animated Series canon that aren't "On Leather Wings."
http://www.cbr.com/batman-the-animated-series-that-pesky-man-bat-formula/
 

Micro-Reviews - TALES OF THE BATMAN

TALES OF THE BATMAN - a 1995 short story compilation, featuring work from writers like Joe Lansdale and Isaac Asimov.  Not sure how I ended up with a copy.  Those “Buy 10 Books for a Penny!” book club ads in ‘90s comics always seemed to feature this collection, so I assume someone I knew ended up with this and passed it along to me.

I’ll admit that, until now, I’ve never found the time to read this thing.

For years, I assumed the cover was by Brian Stelfreeze, but it’s a Steve Stanley piece.  No spot illos on the inside, in contrast to all of the Marvel novels of the era.

The collection opens with “Neutral Ground” by Mike Resnick.

A short, unexciting intro chapter, based on the premise of a neutral costume shop for Gotham’s costumed figures.  Including Batman.

I’m sure DC’s bible now makes is clear Batman makes his own gear.  And the prospect of him ever sharing “Neutral Ground” with criminals is hard to swallow.

The story also doesn’t indicate Bruce wears a disguise when shopping for new gloves and boots, which is odd.

Then again, the Riddler is described as having “thinning blond hair,” so maybe the implication is that all customers wear disguises.

“Command Performance” by Howard Goldsmith

A Dick Grayson solo tale, set during his high school days.  Apparently, Dick works for his high school newspaper -- which has its own building, printing press, and reputation for investigative reporting.  Okay.

This reads as a YA story, which isn’t inappropriate, since the plot centers on Dick investigating a ring of teenage thieves, led by a hypnotist.  I wasn’t expecting YA material in the anthology, however; it’s presented as a novel for older readers.

Goldsmith’s portrayal of Batman is years out of date.  ‘90s Batman was already past his “chatty” stage.  He also thinks nothing of having Batman and Dick Grayson interact in public, which likely didn’t happen much after the Silver Age.

Goldsmith also isn’t writing Robin as a young martial arts master; he’s unable to outmaneuver an aging hypnotist in one lengthy scene.

The number of lame villains in these opening pieces is stunning.

“Subway Jack” by Joe R. Lansdale

Lansdale became a writer on TAS based on his earlier prose Batman work.

“Subway Jack” is a predator, possessed by the evil spirit that inhabits a blade. It’s another entry in the Batman vs. serial killer genre, following a rather goofy story that seems inspired by the ‘60s TV show.

Lansdale emphasizes the friendship between Gordon and Batman, allowing both to take turns as narrator.  That’s when the narrative isn’t switching over to descriptions that read as excerpts from a comic script.  I’m assuming most readers are familiar with terms like “splash page,” but maybe a casual fan at Waldenbooks was confused.

Nothing new about pitting Batman against Jack the Ripper types, but Lansdale understands the two main characters well.  And the way he plays around with the narrative breaks up the monotony.

“Northwestward” by Isaac Asimov

The anthology’s biggest name, Asimov has little interest in writing a straight Batman piece.

Instead, it’s a mystery story that centers on the “real” Bruce Wayne, the millionaire investigator who inspired the fictitious hero “Batman.”

Bruce, now 73, has approached a society of intellectuals known as the Black Widowers to help him resolve a personal mystery.

Bruce is concerned that his current butler, Alfred’s nephew, was plotting to steal valuable pieces of Batman memorabilia.  (The real Bruce having amassed the world’s largest collection of Batman paraphernalia, flattered by “his” success.)

After exhausting all possibilities, it’s the Black Widowers’ butler who notices a clue everyone missed, clearing the case.

Asimov seems enchanted by the idea of Batman as a human hero, dismissive of Superman & other impervious gods.  What that has to do with creating fiction within fiction, giving us a “real” Bruce who was never Batman -- that, I don’t get.

It seems, especially if the story stars an elderly Bruce, that the same mystery could’ve been told with the standard, fictitious Batman.

But who am I to judge Isaac Asimov?

I Still Want that Maxx Figure

This is identified as 1994, but I'm pretty sure this was the 1995 line of Spawn toys.  

And you can see many of the early Spawn ads in this video (along with Avi Arad promoting Marvel's X-Men line of toys.  How many multi-millionaire Hollywood producers could you find working the booth at a toy convention? )

Adventure(s) Time Moves out of Gotham City

You can read the latest installment of Adventure(s) Time by clicking here.  I examine what some people view as the weakest episode of Superman: The Animated Series, and the issue of Superman Adventures that utilized a similar concept years before the episode aired.

Also, I broach this subject...

Adventure(s) Time - The Ninja Family Even Batman Couldn’t Shake

I examine the legacy of Kyodai family on CBR today, in both print and television. Check it out, and feel free to leave your own suggestions for future installments.

There's An X-MEN Toy Commercial Compilation After All...

Please enjoy Wolverine on a jet ski, a moment I missed entirely, perhaps because I wasn't paying a lot of attention to kids' TV at that time.  I don't remember most of these commercials, actually, even though I watched every episode of the show as it aired.  I'm assuming the FCC regulation against toy ads airing during the shows they spin off from was still in effect.

Also, I'd be curious to know why Wolverine's look during "Inferno" inspired that Missile Flyer toy.  What is that thing?

Finally, here's an interesting collection of animated Batman commercials from the late 1980s, which apparently only aired in Canada.  They used Mike Zeck art as the inspiration!

More Adventure(s) Time: Harley and Ivy and the Forgotten Follow-up

The third entry in Adventure(s) Time is now up, exploring Paul Dini's follow-up to "Harley and Ivy" in the pages of Batman & Robin Adventures.  Check out the lovely Rich Burchett art...

Captain America Micro-Reviews - Streets of Poison (Part Two)

CAPTAIN AMERICA #375 - No double-sized anniversary here.

Witness the scourge of drug trade menaces Jerkweed and Ground Chuck.

Also witness Captain America steal a plate of spaghetti from the Kingpin while resisting Typhoid’s subtle advances.

Gru is writing Cap as an utterly delusional zealot who’s going to violently take down the drug trade singlehandedly.

The story’s explanation is that Cap was unwittingly exposed to Ice, so now he’s hopped up on the junk he’s trying to stop.

I assume Gru was going for something deeper; Cap reads as a parody of every anti-drug action hero of the era.

When someone mentions societal issues that might lead someone to turn to drugs, Cap shuts down that hippie talk.

So Gru’s writing an action-packed anti-drug story…as a response to action-packed anti-drug stories?

Finally, in the back-up, a captive Battlestar is advised not to strain too hard and “bust a nut.”

Is there a variation of this expression that I’m not aware of?

CAPTAIN AMERICA #376 - The Red Skull returns for his 495th shadowy scheme.

The Spirit’s “I’m not on drugs!” catchphrase from his movie never caught on. Can Cap sell it this issue?

Apparently, it’s Daredevil’s fight with Crossbones that leads to him developing amnesia in his own book. Never made that connection before.

Funny to think that Nocenti had Daredevil brainwashed into becoming a Marxist by a young bohemian -- while Gruenwald was doing this rather odd take on the War on Drugs with Cap.

Marvel was very mainstream, but also quite strange during this era.

The back-up has Battlestar facing a villain who’s grown so muscular, he needs a “hover-harness” to move.

He could’ve made a killing selling these things a mere two years later…

CAPTAIN AMERICA #377 - Bullseye vs. Crossbones is pretty great.

Loved this fight as a kid. Hero guest spots are nice, but it’s also fun to see villains pop up in unexpected places.

This is the issue that has Cap officially losing his Super Soldier Serum through a blood transfusion.

During the operation, he hallucinates his origin story and remarks that the Dr. Erskine’s needle resembles a junkie’s.

As ridiculous as this is, Gru does introduce an intriguing question -- what is Cap without the Super Soldier Serum?

CAPTAIN AMERICA #378 - Yeah, Cap vs. Crossbones is cool…

…but the real highlight is Kingpin and Red Skull wrestling in their underwear to determine who runs New York’s drug trade.

Gru is working under the assumption that Cap will maintain his muscle tone after losing the Serum -- which enables him to battle Crossbones successfully and declare that he doesn’t need the Serum again.

Gru thought it was important that Cap of all people “Just Say No” and not use the Serum as a crutch, but this doesn’t work.

The muscle tone that Cap enjoys today exists because of the Serum. Even if he never takes it again… …and works to maintain his physique, Cap still has the physique BECAUSE of the Serum.

So regardless of everything Gru’s tried to do, Cap still has abilities thanks to “drugs.”

The back-up story, meanwhile, has Battlestar happily accept “augmentation” to revive his super-strength.

Clearly, Gru ran these stories simultaneously for a reason, but it also works to undermine his point.

Are we to believe that Battlestar is “less” of a hero for accepting pseudoscience as the means of his strength?

Or is the Powerbroker’s strength augmentation process somehow morally superior to Dr. Erskine’s treatment?

If so, since Cap has suddenly developed a moral issue with the Serum, why wouldn’t he just go to the Powerbroker?

Meanwhile, in the backup, we learn that USAgent has changed his identity from Johnny Walker to…Jack Daniels.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #379 - The rare issue that required a fill-in for Ron Lim.

Introducing Nefarious, the blond version of Count Nefaria.

Nefarious gained his powers through an experiment much like the one that granted Cap his powers …Gru is exploring the consequences of people so easily gaining powers through these experiments, presumably to emphasize just how heroic Cap is for rejecting the Serum today. I don’t personally buy it.

I can see where Gru’s coming from, but dwelling on the moral implications on a fictional serum that has no side effects, and connecting it to steroids is just reaching for a moral quandary.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #380 - More fun with the Serpent Society.

The Society refuses to believe that A) he’d ever touch supervillain trash like her, and B) that she hasn’t sold out their secrets.Diamondback is on trial, due to her relationship with Cap. 

I always loved the Serpent Society as a kid; just villainous snakes constantly turning on each other and endless in-fighting.

Meanwhile, Cap’s reunited with his old girlfriend Bernie Rosenthal, written out by Gru years earlier.

Bernie’s graduated law school since her last appearance, indicating old Marvel’s resistance to a stuck timeline.

This means that students can graduate from school, couples become parents, and even (gasp!) Spider-Man grows up.

The USAgent back-up stories are by Mark Bagley. He captures Agent’s barely restrained fury quite well.

Gru was probably thinking about steroids even before Streets of Poison.

USAgent always seemed like a roided-out version of Steve Rogers to me.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #381 - Paladin appears to creep things up.

I’m going to assume that Paladin’s gimmick of constantly hitting on female heroes has been dropped by now -- lest Marvel tempt the wraith of The Dreaded Social Justice ThinkPiece That Might Eventually Lead to a Hashtag.

Diamondback turns to Cap for help, but he can’t promise that he won’t arrest her two remaining friends in the Society.

So, she hires Paladin instead, who keeps reminding her that he wants more than cash as his payment.

The way Gru writes the Society continues to impress me. Most of its members are conflicted about turning on Diamondback -- but they’re also loyal to their leader, King Cobra, and believe that the Society is their only real shot in life.

There’s real drama during the fight; it’s character vs. character instead of sadist vs. sadist.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #382 - As much as I liked Lim’s CAP, that shield was occasionally off-model.

The Cap/Diamondback/Serpent Society arc ends, and I have to gripe about one dropped plot.

Last issue, Diamondback was terrified that she’d killed Bushmaster by accidentally tossing the wrong diamond down his throat. This issue, Bushmaster is fine and the acid-bomb he ingested last issue is never mentioned. Disappointing.

Even though Gru introduced the Society fifty issues prior, this is the first conclusive victory Cap’s had over them.

It’s a shame the Serpent Society never caught on. They would’ve suited most of Marvel’s “street level” heroes.

Remember when the Circus of Crime kept popping up in the late 90s? Just imagine the Society getting some of those roles.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #383 - Cap officially enters the ‘90s.

Although Gru is back to channeling Silver Age DC -- using Cap’s anniversary as an excuse for him to meet figures like Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed.

I’ll be honest; I’ve never liked this logo change. I realize it’s the classic logo to many people -- but I prefer the more solemn logo that doesn’t scream “comic book.” Think it fits the tone of Gru’s earlier issues well.

Maybe the logo change is signaling an intentional change of direction? Less political intrigue and more high-adventure?

CAPTAIN AMERICA #384 - Deceptive cover alert.

Iceman is certainly not in this issue, although Jack Frost is rendered as his twin, right down to the briefs.

Gru reveals this issue that Jack Frost was also frozen in the arctic at the end of WWII and is only now being revived.

Jack’s frozen *again* during the climax, but Gru does throw some theories out regarding his origin -- and reveals that D-Man is *also* frozen up there in the cold.

But the real significance of the issue is Gru simply giving up on the “Super Soldier Serum is a drug” plotline.

Cap learns that there’s no way the Serum can truly leave his blood, so he’s stuck with it, regardless of his feelings.

Cap shrugs his shoulders and declares that comparing the Serum to recreational drug use was kind of silly. The End.

I wonder if Gru would’ve backtracked if he received as many letters criticizing his stance against Cap working as a commercial artist.

The idea that Cap would have a deep moral conviction against drawing toothpaste ads always seemed ridiculous to me.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #385 - The Watchdogs fight against that raunchy rap music of 1991.

While one of Cap’s old neighbors joins the Watchdogs, Cap tries to reconcile his feelings for Bernie and Diamondback.

I remember one of the letter pages from the Waid era questioning if CAP lends itself to these romantic subplots.

Waid’s Cap was very much an icon, the character everyone in the book stands in awe of. Gru tends to avoid this.  Cap’s legendary status is occasionally given a nod, but Gru is more interested in writing Cap as a man.

Diamondback stars in the back-up, creating Bad Girls, Inc. with two other Society members.

It’s actually kind of amazing that Marvel didn’t publish a Bad Girls, Inc. comic circa 1995.

Can’t you just see it, with a Mike Deodato, Jr. cover? Broken back poses everywhere…

CAPTAIN AMERICA #386 - Party on, USAgent.

For the first Cap/USAgent team-up, there’s not a lot of USAgent here. I would’ve expected more of an “event.”

Given the grim tone of the original Watchdogs arc, I’m surprised that Gru’s writing this as a more traditional action arc.

The early Watchdogs story seemed incredibly edgy to me as a kid; this one is much safer.

The Watchdogs have gone from firebombing adult book stores to kidnapping artists and brainwashing them into loving mom, baseball, and the American flag.

The Diamondback story has Dan Panosian penciling and inking, now in the style of regular back-up artist Mark Bagley.

Unfortunately, it ends in a cliffhanger -- and it’s the last regular issue reprinted in the book. Next story is an unrelated annual story.

I think these Epic collections are great, but I wonder who’s served by only printing single chapters of annual crossovers.

I’d much rather have four additional monthly CAPTAIN AMERICA issues in place of the two annuals.